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Real Hector on Mystery Morning Page 3
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pulling off his hand but it wouldn't work. “I'm well built. That's good.”
Mom took us aside. “We need to get on that plane but your father doesn't have his wallet, so someone needs to stay here with him while the rest of us go.”
“I'll stay,” said Dixie. “I hate planes and I'm kind of annoyed with talking to people because the drugs wore off.”
Mom, Stan, and I all went to purchase tickets and finally they ushered us onto the plane. As we looked for our seats we also looked for Hector. I pointed at a pair of gloved hands holding up a big newspaper, then I pulled it down to see Hector's pixelated face. I pointed at him and said, “I found you!”
Hector yelled, “Stewardess! This man's harassing me!”
The stewardess said, “Sir! Please, leave the gentleman alone! Take your seats!”
Stan, who was beside me, shouted, “Stewardess! That man is a robot! We built him on Mystery Morning because-”
But Mom grabbed his arm and stared deeply into his face, saying, “Children! Take. Your. Seats.” She was often stern and severe, but these chilling words were the pinnacle and peak of her diamond-hard seriousness. We silently obeyed, and it only took me a few moments to realize she had just saved us from getting kicked off the plane.
I was seated across the aisle from Hector in the aisle seat on the left-hand row and he was by the window in the right row, so there was one guy in between us. When the announcement came to “Please turn off your cell phones and electronic devices,” I had to struggle really hard not to remind the stewardess that Hector was a robot. The plane lifted off and as we travelled through the air I couldn't help but continuously glance over at my creation... my abomination. Each time I looked at him he flipped his middle finger at me. I got angry and said, “Stewardess! He's giving me the middle finger!”
She frowned at me. “Well I don't blame him! You were being rude and I keep seeing you stare at him!”
I crossed my arms angrily and sat back in my seat, glancing again at the paper printout of Hector's face thumb-tacked to his styrofoam head.
Eventually the pilot spoke over the loudspeaker and said, “We're about to begin our descent. Please buckle your seatbelts and turn off your cell phones.”
Again I felt almost insulted by Hector's insolence. He is a cell phone! How dare he endanger our lives! But I couldn't say anything without looking crazy so I waited for the plane to land.
Suddenly the plane jerked to the right and everybody was thrown around in their seat belts. One man didn't have his belt buckled and he tumbled into the aisle. He was a fat man, and somebody laughed at him. The laughter stopped when the plane jolted left again, then up and down, then tilted a little to the right. The fat man fumbled around as he tried to stand up and the stewardesses struggled to help him but they could barely stay on their feet.
As the plane wobbled and shifted, the pilot spoke again: “Sorry for the turbulence, folks, but it seems like somebody still has their cell phone on and it's messing around with the controls. I have to ask you to temporarily turn off your electronic devices or we won't be able to make a safe landing.”
Someone yelled, “Turn off your stupid cell phone or we're all gonna diiee!”
Somehow the fat man on the floor got tangled up in somebody's jacket and one of the stewardesses had fallen across two passengers—a man and a woman—and as she tried to get up, she kept accidentally groping them and apologizing with red-faced embarrassment.
I looked over at Hector and yelled, “Hector! You're doing this! Stop it!”
Hector looked at me with his cool shades and said, “I'm not doing it on purpose! I swear!”
I yelled back, “It doesn't matter! You have to let us turn you off or we'll all die!”
“No!” he yelled, throwing his newspaper in the air. “No! If you turn me off then you'll dismantle me and you'll only turn me on again for Mystery Day! We had fun! I thought I was part of your family but I'm just a stand-in for Real Hector! If I have to die then this whole stupid plane can die too!”
The guy sitting next to Hector looked back and forth and said, “What are you talking about?”
Mom had unbuckled her belt and was standing in the aisle between us. She grasped onto my shoulder and the opposite chair, gripping tight as the plane jerked everyone around. Her black hair was down in her face and she yelled at Hector, “Hector! Turn off your cell phone right now!”
“No, Mom!” he yelled back in a growing tantrum. “You don't even love me! You'll just kill me! I'm not even the real Hector! You let me think I was part of the family! I loved you but you're just going to take me apart! It's not fair! You can't have two Hectors!”
“You love us?” Mom asked. “Do you really love us?”
He screamed, “YES.” I love Dad and his insane nonsense. I love your strict discipline and focus, which has made us more effective people. Dixie's grumpiness is hilarious and endearing. Greg is a weirdo but he's full of love and good conversation. And Stan is one of the most capable people I've ever met. He can fix anything. I love you all.” Then he put his face in his hands and started sobbed, which sounded weird with an electronic voice synthesizer. I wondered how he had so much detail about us, but remembered all the chat room conversations I loaded into his database, along with his access to the internet and Fingerbook.
Mom calmly said, “If you love us then you don't want us to die. So please, son. Just turn off your cell phone.”
He looked up at her but his shoulders were slumped low. “Okay, Mom. But... will you promise to turn me back on afterwards?”
Mom smiled and I could see the love in her eyes. Her voice choked a little bit as she said, “Yes, Son. Of course. In fact I think it's obvious now that you're not just a replacement for Hector anymore. You're a new member of the family. When you wake up we'll help you pick your own name.”
“That's not fair,” I said. “I didn't get to pick my own name.”
Mom ignored me and spoke to the man sitting beside Robot Hector. “Will you kindly exchange seats with Greg?”
The man nodded enthusiastically and said, “Yeah, I'd really prefer to switch seats.”
I sat beside Robot Hector and said, “Hey, I'm sorry that I was going to dismantle you. I didn't think you'd care. I was wrong.”
“It's okay, big brother,” he said. I realized then that he was our youngest sibling and that I had to take care of him and teach him stuff. “You can turn me off now before the fat guy gets hurt.”
I reached behind his head, and pushed the power button off, and Robot Hector fell over lifelessly.
Mom and I sighed with relief as the plane steadied. We shared a glance and I saw companionship and pride in her eyes before she turned back to take her seat again.
The plane landed smoothly and I turned Robot Hector back on. The stewardesses hadn't noticed our argument, but one of the passengers tried to rat us out. He pointed at my newest brother and said, “That's the guy who had the cell phone and nearly killed us!”
“Is this true, sir?” one of the stewardesses asked.
Robot Hector scoffed as he unbuckled his seat belt and stood up. “That's ridiculous. I don't even own a cell phone. They cause brain cancer.”
All the passengers disembarked onto Polish soil, and Mom said, “Since we're here anyway, let's go visit Hector!”
Robot Hector said, “I'll be embarrassed to meet him since I thought I was him and then I planned to kill him.”
Mom put her hand on his shoulder. “He'll understand. Now let's get a cab and we'll think of names for you.”
As the cab drove the four of us to Real Hector's house, we talked about names and it finally started to dawn on me that my new brother was developing his own independent personality. I felt proud and excited to see what kind of person he would become.
The End
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Mom took us aside. “We need to get on that plane but your father doesn't have his wallet, so someone needs to stay here with him while the rest of us go.”
“I'll stay,” said Dixie. “I hate planes and I'm kind of annoyed with talking to people because the drugs wore off.”
Mom, Stan, and I all went to purchase tickets and finally they ushered us onto the plane. As we looked for our seats we also looked for Hector. I pointed at a pair of gloved hands holding up a big newspaper, then I pulled it down to see Hector's pixelated face. I pointed at him and said, “I found you!”
Hector yelled, “Stewardess! This man's harassing me!”
The stewardess said, “Sir! Please, leave the gentleman alone! Take your seats!”
Stan, who was beside me, shouted, “Stewardess! That man is a robot! We built him on Mystery Morning because-”
But Mom grabbed his arm and stared deeply into his face, saying, “Children! Take. Your. Seats.” She was often stern and severe, but these chilling words were the pinnacle and peak of her diamond-hard seriousness. We silently obeyed, and it only took me a few moments to realize she had just saved us from getting kicked off the plane.
I was seated across the aisle from Hector in the aisle seat on the left-hand row and he was by the window in the right row, so there was one guy in between us. When the announcement came to “Please turn off your cell phones and electronic devices,” I had to struggle really hard not to remind the stewardess that Hector was a robot. The plane lifted off and as we travelled through the air I couldn't help but continuously glance over at my creation... my abomination. Each time I looked at him he flipped his middle finger at me. I got angry and said, “Stewardess! He's giving me the middle finger!”
She frowned at me. “Well I don't blame him! You were being rude and I keep seeing you stare at him!”
I crossed my arms angrily and sat back in my seat, glancing again at the paper printout of Hector's face thumb-tacked to his styrofoam head.
Eventually the pilot spoke over the loudspeaker and said, “We're about to begin our descent. Please buckle your seatbelts and turn off your cell phones.”
Again I felt almost insulted by Hector's insolence. He is a cell phone! How dare he endanger our lives! But I couldn't say anything without looking crazy so I waited for the plane to land.
Suddenly the plane jerked to the right and everybody was thrown around in their seat belts. One man didn't have his belt buckled and he tumbled into the aisle. He was a fat man, and somebody laughed at him. The laughter stopped when the plane jolted left again, then up and down, then tilted a little to the right. The fat man fumbled around as he tried to stand up and the stewardesses struggled to help him but they could barely stay on their feet.
As the plane wobbled and shifted, the pilot spoke again: “Sorry for the turbulence, folks, but it seems like somebody still has their cell phone on and it's messing around with the controls. I have to ask you to temporarily turn off your electronic devices or we won't be able to make a safe landing.”
Someone yelled, “Turn off your stupid cell phone or we're all gonna diiee!”
Somehow the fat man on the floor got tangled up in somebody's jacket and one of the stewardesses had fallen across two passengers—a man and a woman—and as she tried to get up, she kept accidentally groping them and apologizing with red-faced embarrassment.
I looked over at Hector and yelled, “Hector! You're doing this! Stop it!”
Hector looked at me with his cool shades and said, “I'm not doing it on purpose! I swear!”
I yelled back, “It doesn't matter! You have to let us turn you off or we'll all die!”
“No!” he yelled, throwing his newspaper in the air. “No! If you turn me off then you'll dismantle me and you'll only turn me on again for Mystery Day! We had fun! I thought I was part of your family but I'm just a stand-in for Real Hector! If I have to die then this whole stupid plane can die too!”
The guy sitting next to Hector looked back and forth and said, “What are you talking about?”
Mom had unbuckled her belt and was standing in the aisle between us. She grasped onto my shoulder and the opposite chair, gripping tight as the plane jerked everyone around. Her black hair was down in her face and she yelled at Hector, “Hector! Turn off your cell phone right now!”
“No, Mom!” he yelled back in a growing tantrum. “You don't even love me! You'll just kill me! I'm not even the real Hector! You let me think I was part of the family! I loved you but you're just going to take me apart! It's not fair! You can't have two Hectors!”
“You love us?” Mom asked. “Do you really love us?”
He screamed, “YES.” I love Dad and his insane nonsense. I love your strict discipline and focus, which has made us more effective people. Dixie's grumpiness is hilarious and endearing. Greg is a weirdo but he's full of love and good conversation. And Stan is one of the most capable people I've ever met. He can fix anything. I love you all.” Then he put his face in his hands and started sobbed, which sounded weird with an electronic voice synthesizer. I wondered how he had so much detail about us, but remembered all the chat room conversations I loaded into his database, along with his access to the internet and Fingerbook.
Mom calmly said, “If you love us then you don't want us to die. So please, son. Just turn off your cell phone.”
He looked up at her but his shoulders were slumped low. “Okay, Mom. But... will you promise to turn me back on afterwards?”
Mom smiled and I could see the love in her eyes. Her voice choked a little bit as she said, “Yes, Son. Of course. In fact I think it's obvious now that you're not just a replacement for Hector anymore. You're a new member of the family. When you wake up we'll help you pick your own name.”
“That's not fair,” I said. “I didn't get to pick my own name.”
Mom ignored me and spoke to the man sitting beside Robot Hector. “Will you kindly exchange seats with Greg?”
The man nodded enthusiastically and said, “Yeah, I'd really prefer to switch seats.”
I sat beside Robot Hector and said, “Hey, I'm sorry that I was going to dismantle you. I didn't think you'd care. I was wrong.”
“It's okay, big brother,” he said. I realized then that he was our youngest sibling and that I had to take care of him and teach him stuff. “You can turn me off now before the fat guy gets hurt.”
I reached behind his head, and pushed the power button off, and Robot Hector fell over lifelessly.
Mom and I sighed with relief as the plane steadied. We shared a glance and I saw companionship and pride in her eyes before she turned back to take her seat again.
The plane landed smoothly and I turned Robot Hector back on. The stewardesses hadn't noticed our argument, but one of the passengers tried to rat us out. He pointed at my newest brother and said, “That's the guy who had the cell phone and nearly killed us!”
“Is this true, sir?” one of the stewardesses asked.
Robot Hector scoffed as he unbuckled his seat belt and stood up. “That's ridiculous. I don't even own a cell phone. They cause brain cancer.”
All the passengers disembarked onto Polish soil, and Mom said, “Since we're here anyway, let's go visit Hector!”
Robot Hector said, “I'll be embarrassed to meet him since I thought I was him and then I planned to kill him.”
Mom put her hand on his shoulder. “He'll understand. Now let's get a cab and we'll think of names for you.”
As the cab drove the four of us to Real Hector's house, we talked about names and it finally started to dawn on me that my new brother was developing his own independent personality. I felt proud and excited to see what kind of person he would become.
The End
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